We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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