Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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