Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
