i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
