just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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