just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
