i need an iv and a liver transplant
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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