Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
