and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
