I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
