he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
