Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
