Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize