The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We had to coat check the pizza.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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