OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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