Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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