drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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