So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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