I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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