i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize