You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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