If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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