Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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