Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
two words...techno handjob
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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