I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
