Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
