So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
