My brain says no but my pants say off.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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