So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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