whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
