I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
