Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
