garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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