he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
