fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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