i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
