I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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