I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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