ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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