5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
