Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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