found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
