never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
