Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
