What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
