? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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