my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
