I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...