i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize