Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
