I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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