So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
