you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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