You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
