i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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