he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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