u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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